Friday, October 31, 2014

Chronic pain and Spoon Theory

      So i saw the post on reddit/r/chronic pain about a woman whose daily life is limited by 20 spoons.
Each activity has certain amount of spoons ranging from 1~5; for example, taking a shower is one spoon, and taking a walk is 3, working is 5. When the 20 spoons run out, the person has overworked and needs to rest for the day. If she overexerts herself, then she'll use spoons from her next day, and she wants to avoid putting herself into the spoon debt as it reduces her energy/capacity for the future.

      It is similar to willpower & physical limit combined, and I agree with her and my friend who told me about this theory. I have limited amount of energy, especially physical, since I am prone to pain flare ups and I feel breathless every day. That is why it is crucial for me to carefully decide what to do each day to maximize utility/time to achieve my goals.

      It seems to me that i'm disregarding the spoons or rather, ignoring them completely by doing things that do not contribute to my concrete goal of learning programming. I've been always indecisive, and especially with choices that could offend other person.

Here is a list of my available spoons
1. Walking to bus stop/home before&after school - 5 for roundtrip.
2. attending lectures and labs each day - 7
3. eating - 1
4. sitting for a prolong period of time - 3
5. Doing homework 3~5
6. Studying - 4

// Shit, that's already 23~25! I am using the next day's 3~5 spoons already
7. ObjectiveC - 3~5

No wonder I've been overwhelmed by my current schedule. Just commuting, attending lecture and studying wears me out. I wish that I hadn't screwed myself, but it is too late to regret. The optimal way is to lessen pain, but do well enough in classes so that I can graduate.
I am feeling worried about the current progress in my class; especially biology lab. Despite studying,I feel as if the information overload is occurring; I am not able to grasp the concepts as quickly as I wanted.

Do not run away from your situation. Face them, and don't be afraid of offending someone else. Take care of yourself.

It is October 31st! Time flies...

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